


Together Is A Wonderful Place To Be

by brokenhighways



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Holidays, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Manpain, New Year's Eve, One-Sided Relationship, Overworking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 02:18:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5610208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brokenhighways/pseuds/brokenhighways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It takes a brief misunderstanding for Jensen to realise that he and his friend, Jared, have kind of been in a relationship for the last three months. And as he comes to grips with his complicated feelings, he finds that it may be too late for him salvage their friendship, let alone a relationship.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Together Is A Wonderful Place To Be

**Author's Note:**

  * For [psychmerlin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/psychmerlin/gifts), [ferrous_wheeler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferrous_wheeler/gifts).



> I set out to write a fun New Year's fic and....this happened, lol. Happy New Year, folks. 
> 
> Written for my long suffering brain twin **psychmerlin** and the awesomely awesome **ferrous_wheeler** <3 I hope you have a wonderful 2016. 
> 
> Unbeta'd. Apologies for any mistakes!

Jensen's life has formed a distinctive pattern over the last six months. Work, work, work, more work closely followed by two or three hours of shitty sleep before the cycle starts all over again. All sponsored by caffeine and made bearable by his friendship with the foreman of his building, Jared. It's kind of sad that the only person he talks to outside of work is the poor schmuck who's stuck watching assholes like him saunter in and out of the expensive apartment building. A ton of the people who live here are just like him - characterized by work, work, work.  

The first time Jensen finally faltered and ended up half collapsed on the steps of the building, kicking himself for making the tiniest of mistakes, is when he discovered that Jared existed. A tan hand holding a coffee cup crept into Jensen's vision.  Tan hand introduced himself as Jared and was nice enough to help Jensen into the building and guide him back to his apartment.  

They have maintained a friendly relationship ever since. Although, today is different in that Jared looks tired and miserable. Given that Jensen was looking forward to bitching about his good for nothing boss before collapsing into bed, he isn't sure how to react. Part of him wants to just nod and keep it moving and hope that Jared's back to normal the next day. That's the selfish side of him that makes him good at his job, the side that he's starting to hate. The other part wins, thankfully and he sets his briefcase down on the small desk.   

"Hey, everything okay?" he asks. Jared blinks, apparently just noticing his presence for the first time. There's definitely something wrong. "You want to come up for dinner?"  

Jared shakes his head. "I made you a pot roast. Figured you'd be back late." Jensen glances at his watch, realising that he is early. He wonders what it says about him that all he could think about when he clocked out was telling Jared about how mind-numbingly stupid his boss was. "Besides, you have Danneel's party today, right?” Jensen swears under his breath.  

He would seriously be lost without Jared.   

"You are a godsend," he tells him, planting a slightly ridiculous kiss on the other man's forehead. Jared looks bemused when Jensen pulls back, and he takes it as a win, because the miserable, tight expression he walked in on bothered him. "You sure that you're okay?"  

Jared's face dims again but he shrugs, "I'm just not sure if certain things are worth it anymore." There's something in the way that he's looking at him that makes Jensen's chest falter slightly but he dismisses it instantly.   

He levels Jared with a firm expression, the one he uses when he needs to convince someone at work. "You're a smart guy. You'll figure it out." Jared shakes his head and mumbles something that sounds like ' _that's what_ _I’m_ _afraid of_ ' but he waves Jensen off and tells him to enjoy the party.  

~ 

The party isn't really his scene. This is what he realises as he's jostled for the umpteenth time, his drink sloshing over the sides of his glass. The music is too loud and Danneel's been busy all night, thanking people and accepting drinks. Which is fine, it's just that, he has no real desire to be here. Oddly enough, he can't stop thinking about how down Jared looked. And how stupid and dismissive his advice was. He downs the remnants of his beer in one go and moves to grab his jacket when there's a flash of red and waft of strong perfume and Danneel appears in front of him. He stifles an eye roll; it’s not her fault that she has to make rounds at her party. Still, it’s not like he really knows anyone here. He doesn’t have the time – his life is _work_.   

She's wearing a short, off the shoulder purple dress and looks every inch the model. He smiles despite himself, reaching into his jacket pocket and pulls out a slightly crumpled gift bag. It's a Tiffany bracelet that Jared helped him pick out. Jared also collected it from the store when Jensen blanked out and forgot all about it. Not for the first time, he wonders just where he would be without Jared.  

"Happy Birthday, Dani," he says once she's finished squealing over the bracelet. "And thanks for the invite but I should probably head out." She pulls a face but doesn't argue, instead looking around.  

"Where's your boyfriend?" she asks. For a split second he thinks that she's joking, but she looks serious enough. Suddenly the thudding bass of the music makes him feel uncomfortable and he squirms slightly. 

"You'd know if I had a boyfriend." Jensen stifles an eye roll, not really in the mood for her to badger him into reviving his terrible dating life. He's just too busy.  

Danneel manages to put on a convincing surprised look. "Oh, I just—sorry, I thought you and Jared were. I mean, you talk about him all the time. You've been blowing me off to have lunch with him for about three months so I just...assumed. Or have you just not gotten around to the whole 'are we boyfriends?' talk yet?" 

Jensen is shocked to say the least. Yes, he has been bailing on her of late and Jared is a topic more times often than not on account of how much time he spends with him but... 

"There's no relationship at all," he tells Danneel, even as conflicting thoughts begin to run wild in his mind. "Jared and I are friends." 

Despite his answer, the notion that they're anything more is still running wantonly in Jensen's mind. Yes, he does spend most of his free time with Jared. He tells him most of what happens in his life, which isn't much so that surely doesn't count. And okay, so, when he's upset or annoyed he usually either spends a good hour propped up by the reception desk or he invites Jared out for a drink at the bar a few doors down. That's just...what friends do, right? 

Jensen finds that it's hard to convince himself when he can't think of a time in the last three months when Jared hasn't been there. The nights when he makes sure that Jensen consumes more than coffee, or when he drags Jensen's sorry ass to bed. There's also no denying the fact that Jared's more attractive than most of the guys he picks up; he's not blind.  

"Right," Danneel says slowly after a long pause. She smiles at him knowingly. "Just friends."  

~ 

During his cab ride home Jensen decides to just ask Jared outright. He might have his head in the clouds but if Jared thinks that they've been in some kind of relationship, he's willing to accept it. Hell, he might even actually try and make an effort for once. They have good chemistry and perhaps he should stop holding himself back and go after what he wants, which is companionship. Someone to come home to, to hold, all of the cheesy _Hallmark_ crap that he pretends to hate.  

Unfortunately, Jensen's problem has always been that he thinks too much. By the time the cab pulls up outside the building, he's convinced himself that he doesn't have the time to put into a relationship. Bringing it up at this point would be cruel, especially if Jared does like him.  

So the question he ends up asking is, "So, what are you doing for Christmas?" It's three days away and Jensen's flying out in two, on account of work. He'd rather not but the earache he'd get from his parents means that he booked the tickets a month in advance. One flight for his ideal time, another because of the inevitable hold up he'll face at work.  

Jared looks tired, his face pale under the glow of the lights in the lobby, with yesterday's newspaper spread out in front of him. Despite the pallor of his skin, he's practically sparkling compared to the black marble of the counter. This building couldn't be more stuffy and corporate if it tried.  

"Probably a meal for one," Jared says, startling Jensen out of his thoughts. He remembers then that Jared doesn't speak to his family. Some stupid falling out from years ago that neither side has taken steps to mend. While it's none of his business, Jensen can't help feeling sad for his friend. "It's okay. I'm used to it." 

It's not okay though. None of this is okay. Something Jared said earlier springs to mind and Jensen finds himself wondering.  

_I'm just not sure if certain things are worth it anymore_  

"You said something before, something about certain things not being worth it anymore," he says. "Were you talking about me?" Jensen's not self-centred or anything but the way that Jared looked at him as he said that is what really flipped a switch in his brain. That he might be the reason why Jared looked like that makes him angry with himself.  

"It doesn't matter, Jensen," Jared replies tiredly. "It's late. You should head up and try to get some sleep."  

Jensen shifts so that he's no longer leaning on the counter and Jared looks away. That seems to signal the end of the conversation because he heads up to his apartment a few minutes later, wondering why his friendship with Jared seems to have imploded over the span of a few hours.  

~ 

He extends his spare ticket to Jared via text because someone new appears at the front of the building – Christmas relief or whatever, but Jensen isn't convinced. He's too concerned with the lack of response and contemplating just how to fix a mess he wasn't aware that he was causing, There's no reply and he flies back home on the second flight, his mind rife with thoughts of quitting and a life where his first waking thought isn't _I'm_ _so tired_.  

He calls Jared three times, leaves three voice messages and gets nothing back. There is an empty, hollow feeling residing in his chest partnered by the notion that everything is wrong.  

And then to make things worse, there's a parcel waiting at his parents house with his name written on it in Jared's familiar scrawl.  

Inside lies the vintage tango-cherry jacket that Jensen's had on his wish list for as long as he can remember. He mentioned it once in passing, but apparently that was enough to leave an impression on Jared.  

He's starting to realise that while that was happening, he was so busy focused on his own melodrama that Jared kind of faded in and out of vision intermittently. Not completely, never that. Just long enough for him to remain oblivious to his feelings _and_ Jared's.  

~ 

Jensen's return flight home lands in the early hours of the 31st, the city lights still sparkling in the midst of darkness. It reminds him of the brightness of Jared's eyes, and the way they were so dim the last time they spoke. It reminds him that this is the longest they've gone without speaking since they met and that he suddenly feels like he's swimming in the dark, desperately searching for an on switch.  

It reminds him that he has a lot to say and that he can't chicken out this time.  

He can't run away.  

Jared isn't at the front of the building. That isn't exactly the end of the world, but for Jensen it feels like another notch on his failure post. Another way that he's inadequate and naïve for thinking that he even _deserves_ anything with anyone.  

Fortunately for him, he's stubborn. He's a problem solver. He manages to find Jared's address scratched onto the packaging of the Christmas gift, and wastes no time in grabbing his keys and bolting down the stairs.  

By the time he reaches the ground floor, he realises that taking the elevator might have been better but the way air is hurtling through his chest spurs him on, providing him with a well needed surge of adrenaline.  

It takes Jared a while to open the door but when he does he stands there looking like everything Jensen's ever wanted. And that's a pretty overwhelming revelation to have just before confessing _love_ , like – whatever this is.  

"I got your gift," he tells Jared when he's inside. The apartment is small but homely. There's an assortment of pictures and trinkets scattered around. Jared's slightly mismatched furniture only adds to its charm and Jensen marvels at how different it feels compared to his place. His home is barely that, with its plain white walls and minimalist design. Sterile is the word that springs to mind. "I'm sorry that I didn't get you anything." 

Jared's shaking his head and waving it off as he sets a beer down in front of Jensen, but the guilt remains.  

"It's fine, I know that you were busy," he adds upon seeing Jensen's facial expression. "I just wanted you to have something nice in the midst of your parents usual lectures when you go home." Jensen stifles a scoff at the mere thought. It's the same rhyme every year; he works too much, works too hard. He needs to find someone to share his life with. All valid points, but it still stings that there's never any _I'm proud of you_ , never any _we love you_ , just various iterations of _you can do better_.  

Jensen snaps out of his reverie and refocuses his attention on Jared and says, "You are far too good to me."  

In reply, Jared shrugs dismissively. "We're friends. That's what friends do. Don't mention it." There's enough bite in his words for Jensen to know that he didn't imagine the tension during their last meeting, although the unanswered calls and texts were probably definitive enough.  

"Don't do that," he replies, mentally willing Jared to actually _look_ at him and then regretting it instantly when he does. With Jared's eyes on him, he feels like there might just be a penance if he gets word of this wrong. "I've been down this road before. You keep brushing aside my lapses and downplaying the good you do and you'll end up in a mess later down the line wondering what the hell happened to us." 

It's a road well travelled. Lost friendships, broken down relationships and the promise to do better next time.  

Jensen's tired of next time; he wants to get it right _this time_. For once, his parents are right, he _can_ do better.  

"There is no _us_ ," Jared retorts firmly. His body languages changes and he moves slightly on his leathery couch, increasing the gulf between them.  

Jensen's rebuttal is simple. "There's _always_ been an us. I was just too wrapped up in _me_ to see it. And maybe I didn't want to see it, because I didn't want you to be one more person that I'd let down, but we're already at that point and I'm done being the person that I was before. I want to be the person that you're inspiring me to be, but I can't do that without you." 

This time Jared stands up and moves across the room, like he can't physically deal with Jensen's words.  

"I hear what you're saying, but I don't understand where it's coming from?" he replies in a strained voice. "Why now? Because I didn't answer a couple of phone calls?" 

"No! Well, _yes_ , and I realised that I've been screwing up on an almost daily basis, I take but I don't give back and that's never been me. Not really. This past year has been pretty rough and I was freefalling until you came into the picture." 

"Okay, and? I chose to help you, chose to befriend you, chose to let you take – that's on me. What exactly do you want from me? I've done everything short of tell you that I..." Jared trails off, eyes downcast as he visibly calms down. He seems defeated, which isn't the purpose of this visit.  

"That you love me?" Jensen picks up where Jared left off. "You don't need to. I already know." 

And he does know. Maybe he's always known.  

Jared swallows audibly, "That doesn't answer my question, Jensen." 

"I'm quitting my job." Jensen doesn't mean to blurt the words out, but they escape anyway. Another unexpected epiphany but one that's welcome. He's good at what he does, but not good at being the person it makes him become. It's time for him to be _Jensen_ again, and to just take life as it comes.  

In romantic _Hallmark_ terms, it's time to take a leap.  

"And to answer your question, all I want from you is to give me a chance to love you back," Jensen confesses. "I want you to be able to bitch about your day, or to trust me to help you out when you need it. I want to be your rock, the way you've been mine." 

Jared stares at him for a long time, as if his face is a puzzle that can't be solved. It makes Jensen feel even more nervous than before, different from how he feels before delivering a huge pitch at work but not entirely dissimilar.  

"Okay." It's so quiet that Jensen almost doesn't hear it, but he does. He sees the hope in Jared's eyes and all but begs himself not to fuck this up.  

Jared clears his throat and adds, "I'm willing to give you a chance. And yes, I do love you – I'm in love you, I guess and--" 

Jensen silences him with a chaste kiss, partly because he can't resist it any longer and mostly because he knows that he wouldn't have heard a word past _I'm in love with you._  

The bright smile on Jared's face when he pulls back is enough for him to finally breathe a sigh of relief.  

"So are you finally going to cook _me_ dinner for a change?" he asks teasingly, though to Jensen it feels like more.  

"If I did, neither us would live to tell the tale," he remarks. "But I'm open to trying new things." 

Jared levels him with a good natured eye roll and Jensen almost wants to pinch himself. This. _Them_. Right now, in the heat of the moment, things seem so easy, so carefree but he knows that it won't always be this way.  

However, as the clock strikes twelve and they ring in the new year, Jensen realises that there's already a weight lifted off his shoulders. Jared holds him tightly as they watch the firework display and for the first time in a long time, he finds that he's no longer gripped by the fear of the unknown.  

He's ready to embrace it.  

Fin.  


End file.
